Ep 27 – A Giant Wall of… Balls

SCENE STARTS: (A mob of Japanese demons are chasing Mirai and Daichi in town. “To Punch a Pachyderm” plays.)

MIRAI: What is happening?

DAICHI: Did you really think you could run away from a bunch of yokai? You’re kinda playing on our turf you know. Come on, come on, this way! And put the freaking mask on, would ya?!

SFX: (He finally shoves the mask on her face.)

MIRAI: Ow! Our turf?! Wait, are you one of them? And what’s so important about this mask?

DAICHI: The whole reason that Kitsune gave you the mask was clearly to protect you, wasn’t it? SO wear it!

MIRAI: How did you know a kitsune gave this to me? 

DAICHI: Are you kidding? It practically reeks of fox magic.

MIRAI: Well, why are we still running if this mask is supposed to protect me!

DAICHI: It helps you blend in! Obviously, it’s not going to work right now when they already know who you are.

MIRAI: So what do we do? 

DAICHI: Run!

SFX: (The two run to a side street. There’s no way out.) 

MIRAI: We went the wrong way! It’s a dead end over here!

DAICHI: What? I could have sworn… shoot! 

MIRAI: Maybe we can barter with them? Tell them it was all just a silly mistake?

DAICHI: We haven’t had a human show up here in ages, they’re not going to listen.

MIRAI: Okay, so what’s your brilliant idea?

DAICHI: (Frustrated noise) Listen, this is very important, okay? I’m going to get us out of this mess, but I need you to not look at me, got it?

MIRAI: What? Why?

DAICHI: It doesn’t matter why! Just… (desperate) don’t look!

MIRAI: Okay, okay! Just hurry it up.

SFX: (Daichi mutters some things like, “okay, maybe I can cover us” or something. And then we hear his pants unzip.)

MIRAI: Um… Did you just unzip your pants?! 

DAICHI: N-no!

SFX: (There’s a sound of something being stretched. Mirai’s curiosity finally gets her to peak.) 

MIRAI: Okay, I know I definitely heard something coming undone and— How did you make a wall appear? And why does it look like… skin?

DAICHI: Please, I’m begging you, keep quiet and turn around! They’ll notice the wall isn’t real if we’re being loud!

SFX: (Random yokai on the other side of the wall. “Where’d they go?” “It’s a dead end!” “Let’s go this way!” After that, a moment of silence. Daichi puts away the wall and rezips his pants. He takes a moment to gather himself before he says:)

DAICHI: Okay… you can turn around now. 

MIRAI: What are you? How did you make that wall appear? 

DAICHI: Can we go somewhere else to talk? About everything? Now that we’ve lost the mob and you’re properly wearing the mask, no one will recognize you. It should be fine to go out.

MIRAI: Okay, fine. If you say so, but I’m watching you, mister.

FADE OUT.

NEXT SCENE: (The two go to a local cafe.)

MIRAI: What are you doing with those leaves? You know I can’t eat or drink anything without taking the mask off right? But I am really hungry… I don’t know why, but it feels like I haven’t eaten all day.

SFX: (Two ninja poofs. All of a sudden food covers the table.)

MIRAI: Wait, those leaves… How is there food on the table now? Are you also a kitsune? 

DAICHI: Hey, what do you take me for? There’s no way I’m a lame creature like those foxes. Anyways, our table is set now. Let’s talk. How much do you know about Japanese creatures and their magic?

MIRAI: I… know like the big four. Kappas are turtle-like demons who like sumo wrestling and want to steal shirikodama from humans. Kitsunes are fox spirits who are known for their tricks and transformation skills. Then… there are the Tengu and Oni right? The Tengu are… winged goblins with Pinocchio-like red noses.

SFX: (Crows croon in the background as creatures spar.) 

DAICHI: (laughs) Well, you’re right. Sometimes they’re more bird-like and sometimes they’re more monkey-like. They were originally depicted as mean creatures opposing Buddhism. They’d defame Buddha, kidnap monks, rob temples, anything to disrupt the religion. 

As history changed, their chaotic behavior switched and became associated with war, depicted as strong fighters and masters in martial arts. Nowadays, however, their image has softened, though I still get a little nervous whenever I meet one…

SFX: (The show returns to the park atmosphere.)

MIRAI: Right… and the Oni are… like orcs right?

DAICHI: Orcs.. is that a Western thing? No, for being some of the most vicious monsters in Japanese mythology, Oni are quite colorful creatures with horns. They are servants to Lord Enma in hell and do their best to hurt mankind, dead or alive. 

MIRAI: Wait, but that’s not what I’ve been told as a child.

DAICHI: What did you hear?

SFX: (A small town. An oni terrorizes a town and cries at the loss of a friend.)

MIRAI: It was a story about a red and blue oni. The village was scared of them, but the red oni wanted to be friends. So, the blue oni hatched a plan. They would scare the villagers and the red oni could play hero to win their hearts. Their plan succeeds and the red oni is happy, however, the blue oni leaves in the end, realizing they have no place in the red oni’s new life. 

SFX: (Return to the town atmosphere around here.)

DAICHI: Ah, a classic. Yes, well, it is a children’s story so it was clearly… modified to fit a happier narrative.

MIRAI: Well… that’s about everything.

DAICHI: Hey, you’re missing the obvious favorite!

MIRAI: What do you mean? What else is there? 

DAICHI: Come on, a creature whose brown and furry and super beloved in Japan?

MIRAI: Brown and furry… like a fox?

DAICHI: A creature that’s more original than the rest?

MIRAI: I mean… the Kappa sounded pretty original…

DAICHI: What?! No! A Tanuki! 

MIRAI: A Tanuki? Like the raccoon dog? Isn’t that the creature that has gigantic— um 

MUSIC: (“False Alarm” plays.)

DAICHI: T-that’s not the important part! We’re able to transform into more things than Kitsunes can and we’re way more friendly than most creatures in general so that’s why— 

MIRAI: Wait. That wall from before. Were they your…

DAICHI: Okay! (dismissive) So you know the stories. We love to drink and gamble and have fun. Yes, we can stretch out certain… parts of our body to use for whatever we need, including making a fake wall to fool an angry mob of yokai. Please don’t think too deeply about all this.

MIRAI: That was your…your balls?! You made a wall with your balls?!?!!?

DAICHI: (Shushes and whispers) Can you please not shout this out loud to the world? It helped us escape, didn’t it? I’m already self-conscious as it is… 

SFX: (Somewhere in the woods, a poor raccoon calls out.)

DAICHI: We have better attributes. Let me tell you one of the stories about us, uh, like, Bunbuku Chagama: The Wonderful Tea Kettle. One time a tanuki was stuck in a trap. Luckily an unfortunate merchant was wandering by when he heard the tanuki’s cries. 

Even though the merchant had nothing to give to the tanuki, he still showed him kindness and offered what little he had. Because of that, the tanuki secretly transformed into a fancy tea kettle and became an item for the merchant to sell. 

SFX: (At a Buddhist temple. water is boiling until the raccoon freaks out and runs away.)

DAICHI: The merchant sold the tea kettle to a high priest. However, while the tanuki tried their best to not flinch when being shined or flee when being boiled, they ultimately failed and ran back to the merchant. The two decided in the end that it was better to stick together and use the tanuki’s transformation magic to perform instead! Well? What do you think?

SFX: (Return to the town atmosphere around here.)

MIRAI: So you’re also a trickster…

DAICHI: A nice trickster! And yes, there is a difference! Some tricksters out there trick to kill, we just trick to have fun! 

MIRAI: Uh huh. A creature who drinks a bunch uses his junk and loves to play tricks. How nice.

DAICHI: Oh c’mon, you know that certain… body part symbolizes wealth and good fortune. It can be stretched as long as eight tatami! That’s a lot of money.

MIRAI: Why do you care about money when you can just create anything as long as you have leaves?

DAICHI: I’m just saying! Anyways, let’s talk about you now! What are you doing here? How did you even know about this place?

MIRAI: I’m looking for my brother. He said he was going to be in this town looking for something, which is why I thought he’d be at the library. My other brother sent over some audio for him to listen to.

DAICHI: Well, I haven’t heard of any other humans here in town… Are you guys like, from an ancient line of onmouyji’s or something? But you got caught so easily… 

MIRAI: Hey! We’re just a normal family with some normal issues… at least, I thought.

DAICHI: Well, tell me about them.

MUSIC: (“Park in Twilight” Piano theme plays.)

MIRAI: Where do I start… Like nearly seven years ago my twin brothers got into like the first fight they’ve ever had in their entire lives. We all thought that they were going to the same college, same major and everything, but Junichi, my oldest brother, decided without telling any of us that he was gonna go to some local college as an undecided major! 

Junpei was then really upset with that because, well, he thought they were going to do everything together. They didn’t really talk after that. 

But then after their graduation, Jun-nii became a shut-in. It was so scary, my parents begged Junpei to come home and reason with him, but he wasn’t too successful either. It wasn’t until last year when I mentioned studying abroad that he finally showed some interest! Although where he is now, I don’t really know.

DAICHI: That seems like a ton of drama. And wait, so what does the audio have to do with any of it? If he’s finally outside and doing things, isn’t that a good thing? 

MIRAI: Yeah, but still not the same as before. He’s not the overnight backpacker kind of guy. And besides, it seems like he was involved with creatures somehow. 

DAICHI: Well, you need to go to the park then. 

MIRAI: What? But isn’t this town full of creatures as well?

DAICHI: Yes… But we’re all locals, we know when someone new wanders in. Like you. I would have known if your brother showed up. The park, however, anyone: human, creature, alike can go there. I mean, It’d be at your own risk, but it is a public park…

MIRAI: Yes, I’m… very familiar with the concept. 

DAICHI: And anyway, if your family has no ties to our town, I think the park makes more sense. Way more creatures out there.

MIRAI: But why would he come all the way around the world, when we had our very own park in New Jersey?

DAICHI: Let’s go and ask him ourselves!

MIRAI: Wait, now? I should go back to my hotel. It’s been a long day. 

DAICHI: Oh, okay! Sounds good. I’ll walk ya back. You should be fine from now on, but just to be safe…

MIRAI: Thanks! I never want to run for my life like that ever again…

FADE OUT.

CREDITS: Residents of Proserpina Park is a production written and produced by Angela Yeh. Directed by Angela Yeh. The voice of Mirai is Vida Shi. The voice of Daichi the Tanuki is Zerreth. The voice of Alina is Angela Yeh. And the voice of Sam is G3. 

Dialogue editing by Angela Yeh. Sound Design by Rebecca Liu. Mixed and mastered by Angela Yeh. Script edited by Sara Roncero-Menendez. Original music by Hoa Pham. Season 3 cover art by Molly James. Series Logo by Macy Tang. For more information about the show, please go to our website residentsofproserpinapark.com 

AFTER CREDIT SCENE: (Alina ambushes Sam at the park.)

ALINA: Sam! There you are!

SAM: Alina, oof (Alina pulls him into a hug). I guess this hug is your way of saying everything is cool between us, and that Drew is alive?

ALINA: Yes! Of course. Without a doubt. My feelings– well you know me, I like what I like, but I think it’s safe to say we are friends, and that’s all that matters.

SAM: That sounds good to me. 

ALINA: I do want to apologize, again. I should have told you my side as well. We’re pretty bad at this, aren’t we?

SAM: That’s very true. But really, it’s fine. I’m glad there are no hard feelings on either side. 

ALINA: But I mean… I think it’s pretty fair now, isn’t? That we know each other’s types.

SAM: What do you mean?

ALINA: I listened to your conversation Sam. You said you loved someone whose name you didn’t even know. You know I know who that is. Don’t worry, no one’s listened to the more recent stuff yet. The others don’t know.

SAM: I didn’t want to say anything out loud. I’m not even sure he’s out. 

ALINA: It’s okay. I get it. Some secrets can stay hidden. Just, when you see him again, make sure you get that introduction right this time, okay?

SAM: Oh, I… (sighs) Yeah, Alina, sure.

FADE OUT.