Ep 30 – Into the Woods!

SCENE STARTS: (Continuing from where we last left off, Mirai decides to hide in a hotel closet to regroup.)

MIRAI: (whispers) Okay, I am currently hiding in a random closet at the hotel. I think whatever that’s been chasing me is finally gone. But now what do I do? The only things I have on me are my headphones, my phone, which has been accidentally playing the files by the way, and my hotel key… 

I don’t want to go back to my room… That’s probably the first place they’ll go to look for me! But there’s nothing I can use my phone for! 

Is my life really just me, stuck in a closet, hiding from spirits, listening to these audio files… (cries)

NEXT SCENE: (Alina and the gang are at the cafe. “Proserpina Bops” plays in the background.)

JUN: So we’re really doing this… without Dog.

ALINA: Well, she thinks we’re leaving this to Sam! But that’s just not our style. 

DREW: Yeah and we have the Lion Dogs with us. We won’t do anything dangerous, right, Alina? We just wanna see what Sam and Terry are up to.

ALINA: Right. I mean, we could get all our answers in just a few hours, doesn’t that seem worth it?

JUN: Yeah… I know. I just don’t want Dog to think we don’t trust her.

ALINA: I know Jun. Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out fast and then we can talk to her and show her we know what we’re doing! Then maybe Dog will be less stressed. She’s been a real mama bear lately… for a dog slash alien… creature.

JUN: Okay, let’s go… 

FADE OUT.

NEXT SCENE: (The gang goes to the park. They are getting close to the woods. The lion dogs are with them.)

JUN: Here we are again… in the park… at night.

ALINA: It’s still early evening!

DREW: The moon’s not even out yet, gosh.

JUN: Have you ever gone into the woods before? 

ALINA: I’ve walked alongside it once… with Sam. You know, I don’t remember it looking this eerie before…

DREW: Wait, you guys. Over there! It’s Sam and Terry!

ALINA: Oh! Okay, hide! Come on over here!

SFX: (The gang squashes themselves behind some trees. Off to the side, Sam and Terry are talking with Cerberus.) 

TERRY: Remember, no hesitation when it comes to this– 

SAM: I know…

TERRY: You can’t let your emotions take over— 

SAM: I know. 

TERRY: (sighs) Okay, let’s do this.

SFX: (Sam, Terry, and Cerberus go into the woods. We return back to Alina and co’s point of view.)

MUSIC: (“False Alarm” starts to play.)

ALINA: Okay, hurry, we gotta follow after them.

DREW: Did you hear what they were talking about?

JUN: Terry said not to hesitate…why would they?

ALINA: We’ll come back to it! We’re gonna lose them, come on. Let’s go.

FADE OUT. 

NEXT SCENE: (The gang is walking into the woods. The wind makes things really eerie…)

ALINA: Oh, where did they go? 

JUN: Okay, this is the worst idea ever.

ALINA: It’s all just a trick of the mind! Just take deep breaths. Come on, it’s still light out, we can’t freak out yet.

DREW: Do you guys see them at all? How did we lose a gigantic hellhound that easily?

JUN: Well I mean, I haven’t taken hell hound tracking 101, now have I– What was that? 

SFX: (Twig snaps. Everyone freaks out. In the distance, they see a herd.) 

ALINA: Horses?

JUN: Um, those aren’t horses.

DREW: (excited) No, okay maybe not horses, (Alina: Drew?) but I think I know what they are! You guys know what unicorns are right?

ALINA: There is no way those are unicorns. They don’t even have like a uni horn!

JUN: (laughs) Good one, Alina.

ALINA: Thanks, Jun!

DREW: Okay, well, I guess that’s fair. But there is a different kind of unicorn; it’s known in Asia.

This breed was known to predict the life or death of royalty and, it was regarded as an auspicious creature. Oh, they’re known in Japan as the Kirin.

JUN: Okay but it doesn’t look like a horse either, which is you know, a big thing for unicorns.

DREW: Yeah well, that’s because this unicorn was most likely based off of a giraffe or something similar with antlers.

ALINA: Okay wait so, it doesn’t have one horn, and it’s not a horse… 

DREW: Right.

ALINA: How is it a unicorn then?

DREW: Well, sometimes it did have one horn instead of two. It mostly has to do with the way they’re represented. I mean, they’re known for their positive influence and similar attributes to unicorns, thus it was marketed as the eastern equivalent of the unicorn. Probably because no one could pronounce the name.

JUN: Okay, well, I mean, at least it’s a good creature. We don’t have to worry about anything with these guys right?

ALINA: See, the woods aren’t so bad! Let’s go check out these creatures.

SFX: (Alina starts walking up to them.)

DREW: Oh Alina, I really don’t know if we should get close to them…

ALINA: Well, let’s try and see! You know, they kinda look like a deer and a dragon created this… baby thing.

JUN: Yeah! I mean, if that’s the case, are they reptiles or mammals? I mean, look at the scales on those guys. Like a fish.

DREW: Yeah, let’s not think too hard on this. You gotta apply myth logic to it all, remember?

ALINA: B-but look at them walk… it’s like– It’s like… almost like they aren’t touching the ground.

SFX: (A bell rings into the air.) 

DREW: Yeah, the Buddhists thought they were creatures that walked on clouds so that they wouldn’t hurt a single living thing.

ALINA: Uh huh. Yeah, that’s cool.

JUN: Drew, she’s doing it again.

DREW: Alina!

ALINA: What?

DREW: Just how close are you trying to get?

ALINA: They don’t seem bothered by us! Come on, just… touch it! (Drew: No.) Touch it! (Drew: No!)

DREW: Alina, don’t get too close. I don’t want you to all of a sudden receive some unexpected news…

SFX: (Off to the side, a new herd of creatures has arrived.) 

JUN: Did you guys hear that?

ALINA: It was probably the Kirin.

JUN: No you guys, I think it’s something else.

DREW: What else could it possibly be— Ooooh. Oh geez.

MUSIC: (“To Punch a Pachyderm” plays.) 

ALINA: Hey, you know, now those creatures over there are what I picture a unicorn to look like!

DREW: Yeah… I. Alina, I highly recommend we stay away from those. (Alina: Huh? Drew, you okay?) D.O, G, come here boys. 

SFX: (The creature starts to dig into the ground, ready to attack.)

DREW: Guys, back a– Don’t make eye contact. Back away slowly and just don’t… okay no they’re ready to charge, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! Just run!

SFX: A herd of angry unicorns charge. The Lion Dogs start barking like crazy.

ALINA: Wait for me!

JUN: Fetch boys! 

SFX: The three of them run to safety as they wait for the lion dogs to come back. The woods return to normal.

DREW: (running) Ahh, yeah, those creatures are the real deal!

JUN: (panting) So even unicorns are mean creatures here? What’s up with that? 

DREW: (panting) Yeah, uh, so they’re actually pretty feral and probably pretty angry at people since they’ve been hunted for their horns.

ALINA: Oh my god, why would they do something like that?

DREW: Oh I have to hit to the gym. You know, typical mojo medicinal stuff back in the day. It was thought to be able to heal anything, including poison, and supposedly they have purifying properties. 

JUN: So how on earth did they capture them back in the day?

DREW: It’s a disturbing answer. Okay wait, let me start from the top, so the unicorn, right? It’s one of many creatures that have been sighted all over the world. A common belief is that the creature originated in Ancient Greece but in actuality, they just stole it from Asia and popularized it in Europe. But that’s kinda the issue. Word of mouth easily changes information. Especially if what one saw was, you know, the Indian Rhinoceros.

SFX: (Sound of a “unicorn” here.)

ALINA: You’re joking.

DREW: (laughs) I know right. But just imagine it. You travel for months, maybe even years and you see in a field, just like we are, this giant creature with one, lovely horn. It’s quite the story.

JUN: Okay, so, so. Europeans saw the rhino for the first time. They brought stories about it back home to all their little European families and stuff. And somehow, it morphs into this ultra-femme white horse?

DREW: Yeah, pretty much uh. I-I mean some cultures also depicted them more bovine-like until eventually it became a biblical creature that then signified purity and grace.

ALINA: Okay, so what’s the gross part about capturing them?

DREW: So… the only way to tame a unicorn is to use someone who is also quote unquote, pure. Like a virgin maiden. Apparently only then will a unicorn calm down and even lay on their laps.

ALINA: Ugh the patriarchy is disgusting.

DREW: Yeah, well you can ask Terry later about their dear old god uncles and how much worse it can get.

SFX: (We hear barking from the side, the lion dogs have come back.) 

MUSIC: (“Park in Twilight” Piano theme plays.)

JUN: Ahh, the boys are back! Did you come to heal us with your cute lil’ faces? Come here!

DREW: Yes, come here you silly dogs. Look at the scruff. Look at the scruff. Thanks for saving the day!

SFX: (More baby talk.) 

ALINA: Hey you guys, not that I’m concerned or anything, um, but where are we?

FADE OUT.

NEXT SCENE: Mirai is still in the closet (lol).

MIRAI: Okay, I can’t take it anymore! I refuse to sleep in a closet after I purposefully spent money on a hotel room. I’m taking a page from Alina and I’m going on the offense. I wish I also had lion dogs to just attack whoever gets in my way while I figure out what to do next but this will have to do. They didn’t have anything special like holy water, but they did have something every kitchen has, salt!

I’m going to go in there, toss as much salt as I possibly can, and hopefully that’ll give me enough time to find some matches or something so I can burn. I mean, to purify this place, not arson.

That should be enough to keep me safe… for the night at least. Let’s do this!

FADE OUT.

CREDITS: Residents of Proserpina Park is a production written and produced by Angela Yeh. Directed by Angela Yeh. The voice of Mirai is Vida Shi. The voice of Jun is Ben Pollizi. The voice of Alina is Angela Yeh. The voice of Drew is Ashley Dawson. The voice of Terry is Molly. The voice of Sam is G3. The voice of Jessica is Jess Syratt. The voice of the Jinn is Ahmad “AJ” Joudeh. And the voice of Dog is Sara Roncero-Menendez. 

Dialogue editing by Angela Yeh. Sound Design by Skyler Giodano. Mixed and mastered by Angela Yeh. Script edited by Sara Roncero-Menendez. Original music by Hoa Pham. Season 3 cover art by Molly James. Series Logo by Macy Tang. For more information about the show, please go to our website residentsofproserpinapark.com 

AFTER CREDITS SCENE: Jessica and the Jinn have also arrived to the park, ready to make their moves.

JESSICA: I know it makes no difference what time we go to the park, but why did they decide to go when it’s getting dark? Do they think if they can’t see the creature it’ll work in their favor? Or maybe it’s just Terry being Terry. For someone who says they don’t care about what other people think, they really do strive to keep up their image, don’t they?

JINN: I have never met this person in my entire life. And I’ve lived a very long life.

DOG: Oh, I just knew Jun was lying about going to the library. Jessica! JINN! 

JESSICA: Is that Dog I hear? I see no one else… Why are you alone?

DOG: It’s a long story. I assume you’re here because of the creature, but I’m afraid Alina and the others have also went in. I need to stop them, I don’t think they’re ready for this. Could you help me find them? I promise I’ll make them stay out of your way. I just want to make sure that they’re safe. 

JESSICA: You must be desperate. Do you know which way they went?

DOG: No…

JESSICA: Do you know where Sam and Terry are?

DOG: No…

JINN: She can’t help us.

DOG: Please! For old times sake. I was never able to help all of you out…

JESSICA: Dog, we never asked you to take care of any of us. Everything we did was our decision to make. I told you, it’s not your problem. Our mistakes are not yours to bear. 

DOG: I…

JINN: We’re wasting time.

JESSICA: (sighs) Come on, let’s go. 

DOG: Thank you.

END SCENE.