Ep 34 – Large, Cute, and Cuddly

SCENE STARTS: (Mirai is walking all alone, lost in the woods.) 

MIRAI: Daichi said the shrine was in the center of the park. But that doesn’t mean I can just pick any direction and I’ll get to the center right? But I think he also said it was on a hill, so it must be high up somewhere… But all I see are trees! 

SFX: (She walks on a random path.)

MIRAI: Okay, whatever, let’s just get out of here! This path looks like it’s going up, so I guess that’s the path I’ll take… (muttering to herself) Like a fox… Like a fox.. I’m mean, and cunning, and no one messes with me!

SFX: (A noise like a stick breaking or leaves rustling. Mirai “eeps” and starts running.) 

MIRAI: (panting) I don’t want to do thissss.  

MUSIC: (“Proserpina Bops” plays as we move to the next scene.)

FADE OUT. 

NEXT SCENE: (Mirai is alone, but up in a tree now.)

MIRAI: Okay, so I don’t know what that sound was, but I don’t see anyone following me. And yes, I am recording all this, in case I die and maybe Daichi will find my corpse and tell Alina and Sam that I failed the mission or whatever, but for now, I’m still alive.

(sighs) I’m up in a tree. I know that’s not fox-like at all, but this was the only way I could think of to see everything in front of me! So no one can ambush me! Also, I’m so high up, I can actually see the shrine! It doesn’t look too far away, and I think the sun’s setting in the same direction, so I just have to follow the sun. But… that also means I have to get down… somehow. 

SFX: (Something drops from a tree and makes a thud sound.)

MIRAI: Ow, ugh. An acorn just fell from the tree. 

SFX: (All of a sudden, a bunch of acorns fall. A few heavy footsteps are clearly the reason.)

RATATOSKR: Hey you! 

MIRAI: W-what is going on?!

RATATOSKR: How dare you! You almost stepped on my acorn!

MIRAI: I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Mr—  (Suddenly stares face to face to a creature) Squirrel?! A really, really big squirrel. How cute!

RATATOSKR: Cute?! Do you know who I am?

MIRAI: A talking squirrel?

RATATOSKR: I’m more than just that! Look at me! I’ve traveled farther and wider and seen terrors that you’ve never even dreamt of, and you think I’m cute?!

MIRAI: Yes?

RATATOSKR: Squirrels are not cute! We’ve been known throughout the land to be giant, mean creatures. 

MIRAI: Really? How come all the squirrels I’ve seen are really small?

RATATOSKR: Uh… Well… There’s a story about that. I believe… His name was Mikew… From the Abenaki tribe.

MIRAI: Where’s that?

RATATOSKR: Ooh, hmm, what did they call it? Vinland? It must be different now. 

MIRAI: Vinland, like what the vikings called America?

SFX: (Loud thumping sounds, with squirrels causing chaos)

RATATOSKR: Maybe. So like I said, Mikew and the rest of the squirrels used to be just as big as me. It was amazing. I heard they wreaked havoc everywhere and did whatever they wanted due to their large size. It was paradise.

MIRAI: Just because you’re big doesn’t mean you have to be mean.

SFX: (Chaotic sounds stop here.)

RATATOSKR: Uh, it does if it means no one can stop you! Not until that Gluskabe showed up, that is. 

MIRAI: Who’s he? 

RATATOSKR: I believe he was created by the gods… but I doubt he was human. Not with the powers he had. He cared much more for the humans and were concerned the animals would be too dangerous to them. So he called them all over. 

SFX: (Someone calls out and a hoard of animals come out.)

The moose, the wolves, the rabbits, and of course the squirrels. Some animals ran away, but others, like the squirrels, argued with Gluskabe. Mikew personally said that if he ever met a human, he would push down trees on them and kill them for fun. (laughs)

SFX: (Sound of tree falling with the sound of squirrels in the background lol.)

MIRAI: Sounds like an upstanding guy… 

RATATOSKR: He has the Viking spirit in him. Except Gluskabe obviously couldn’t risk that happening, so he cajoled all the squirrels closer, and when he pet them, they grew smaller and smaller, until he was sure they would be unable to harm any humans, let alone push a tree down. 

But jokes on him, I personally know squirrels still annoy humans today, regardless of size!

MIRAI: Sure… if you mean those bird feeder prank videos…

RATATOSKR: (sniffs) Huh, say, for a second I thought you were a human child! Strange, my nose must be tired from gathering all these nuts today.

MIRAI: Y-yeah, that must be it. Gathering food is hard work. Make sure to take care of yourself! But why are you so big if everyone else is small?

RATATOSKR: Well, I’m not from the Abanaki tribe! I’m from Yggdrasil!

MIRAI: Yggdrasil… Why does that sound familiar?

RATATOSKR: You must know Yggdrasil, it’s only the most famous of all world trees!

MIRAI: Oh! Norse mythology. Yeah, I think I remember hearing about it. It connects a bunch of worlds together right? No wonder you said Vinland before. 

RATATOSKR: Exactly, I’m one of the best creatures on Yggdrasil. 

MIRAI: There are also creatures on the tree?

RATATOSKR: Yes of course, it’s its own ecosystem. 

MIRAI: So, who are you? My name is Mirai. The… fox, obviously.

RATATOSKR: I’m Ratatoskr. They say the eagle is the smartest creature in Yggdrasil, but don’t be fooled, clearly it’s me. You wanna know why? 

MIRAI: Um, I think you need to give me more context first.

RATATOSKR: Ooh, all right. It’s been a while since I’ve been able to really talk to someone who doesn’t know a thing. Okay, so you know that Yggdrasil is a world tree. Its top reaches Asgard, where the gods are,and the center, where we certainly are is Midgard, and the bottom is Hel. Got it?

MIRAI: Yes, heaven, earth, hell. 

SFX: (Tree rustling, the wind picks up as we go high up)

RATATOSKR: Er, no, but close enough. So at the very top of the tree is the eagle.

SFX: (eagle or hawk call.)

RATATOSKR: The second player in our story; Nidhogg. Nidhogg is the worm-snake-dragon creature that is trapped in its own home and gnaws on the roots of Yggdrasil. 

SFX: (Underground, gnawing sounds.)

MIRAI: Trapped?! Why is he trapped?

RATATOSKR: Well he’s an evil dragon who will end the world if he ever leaves his prison.

SFX: (dragon growl)

MIRAI: Evil dragon?! Why is there an evil dragon?

RATATOSKR: Oh, they’re harmless as long as they’re stuck down there. It’s nothing really. 

MIRAI: But you just said if they leave, the world will end. So there’s a possibility they could escape!

RATATOSKR: Prophecies, it’s just prophecies; Ragnorak and whatnot, you know? It’s been centuries. Nothing has happened.

MIRAI: Right…

RATATOSKR: So, the eagle and Nidhogg, who are on opposite sides of the tree, hate each other. They say the craziest things ever. In fact, recently the eagle said that Nidhogg is just a wannabe dragon who’s really just a worm. 

And Nidhogg replied back that clearly the word “worm” is out of date because the original use of that word meant reptiles like snakes or dragons, Then they called the eagle stupid, which really riled them up. I know all this because they tell me these things. And I tell everyone all about their fighting. 

MIRAI: If it’s been going back and forth for this long, you’d think they’d get over this crazy rivalry.

RATATOSKR: Never! What would there be to talk about if they make up?! Besides, it is destiny for them to hate each other. Forever rivals til the end of time! Or the world. I guess they would both come to an end regardless.

MIRAI: Okay, okay. So, is that what you do? Go up and down Yggdrasil? What are you doing here?

RATATOSKR: Yes, as I said, I’m on my way up to deliver the news to the eagle. But it’s a long way up to the top, so I made a pit stop to get some snacks before heading back up. Rumors are always more fun with food you know. 

MIRAI: Sure, I guess. What even started this rivalry in the first place?

RATATOSKR: What do you mean?

MIRAI: Well, why do they hate each other?

RATATOSKR: That’s just how it is.

MIRAI: But how is that possible?

RATATOSKR: Again, what do you mean?

MIRAI: Well, one’s at the top of the tree, the other is at the bottom. So clearly they’ve never met… 

RATATOSKR: Right.

MIRAI: And, so if they’ve never met, how can they hate each other?

RATATOSKR: Because I tell them what they say about each other!

MIRAI: What do you mean you tell them what they say about each other? 

RATATOSKR: Exactly what it means. I’m the only one who is willing to go up and down this ginormous tree… I told you. Squirrels are mean. 

MIRAI: Wow, you sir, are an absolutely terrible representation of what the cute, little squirrels should be!

RATATOSKR: I told you, we aren’t cute!

MIRAI: (outburst) How much you wanna bet?!

MUSIC: (“False Alarm” plays.)

RATATOSKR: Oh. Oh ho, so you think you can outwit me as well? All right, I’ll accept your challenge. I’ve heard foxes are supposed to be smart, but clearly that was a lie.

MIRAI: Then let the wager begin! I’ll prove to you that squirrels are nice creatures.

RATATOSKR: And how exactly are we going to prove that?

MIRAI: Hmm… maybe we can do a poll? Like a general census? And we’ll let the public decide how squirrels are!

RATATOSKR: That would take forever! I told you, I have to go back up to the eagle soon.

MIRAI: (thinks) Then we’ll just ask one person then! 

RATATOSKR: And what happens to the winner of the bet?

MIRAI: They get one wish? But something they can actually do, and just once! We both seem to be busy peo— creatures, after all.

RATATOSKR: All right then. Let’s go. 

MIRAI: Oh, um, do you mind if I just, hop onto your back or something…

RATATOSKR: Come on, we’re losing daylight.

MIRAI: Trust me, I know. I need to get somewhere as well… (jumping sound) Oh, this is actually perfect.

FADE OUT.

NEXT SCENE: (Ratatoskr and Mirai are walking, looking to find a creature.)

RATATOSKR: It’s getting late. The longer we stay out, the more likely we’ll have to deal with night creatures. We may have to cancel this bet. I need to get going.

MIRAI: N-no!

RATATOSKR: No? Do you think you can defend yourself against such creatures?

MIRAI: Of course not! I… I just meant I know somewhere we can look! Please? We’ll look there and if we can’t find anyone, then we can stop.

RATATOSKR: All right, where should we go?

MIRAI: Did you see the shrine before? I think it was to the west. Apparently creatures will hide around there during the night for safety. That should be the best place for us to check, don’t you think?

RATATOSKR: All right, I know that place well. Shouldn’t be a problem. This’ll be the perfect way to end the day! Ha, I’ll have not one, but two pieces of news to tell the eagle!

MIRAI: Hey! I could win as well you know!

RATATOSKR: (laughs) Yeah, right! Keep trying, fox!

MIRAI: Hmph, I’ll show you!

SFX: (Ratatoskr starts walking.) 

MIRAI: Oh, wait, there! Up that hill, that must be where the shrine is!

RATATOSKR: All right, prepare to lose!

MIRAI: Whoa! Hey! Not so fast—

SFX: (They finally get to the top of the hill, where the shrine is.) 

RATATOSKR: Seems rather quiet, ain’t it?

MIRAI: I think shrines are supposed to be quiet? Like tranquil and what not.

RATATOSKR: Bah, I can’t relate. (yells) Now, who’s out there?! We need to settle a bet!

MIRAI: (shushing) What are you doing!? This is literally disturbing the peace. 

RATATOSKR: You want answers or what? Look. (Someone comes rushing out.) See, someone came out! Hey! You there!

DAICHI: Oh hey! Mi—

MIRAI: (loudly) Yes, doesn’t that strange raccoon look like the perfect candidate?

DAICHI: Hey, I’m a raccoon dog. You know there’s a difference!

MIRAI: See, I don’t even know this creature. Totally the perfect person for this.

DAICHI: Candidate?… What’s going on?

RATATOSKR: We need you to settle a bet for us. I need to get going soon, so listen to our request. 

DAICHI: Okay…

MIRAI: Yes, it’s very important that you listen. Now, kind, Racoon dog, sir—

RATATOSKR: No buttering up!

MIRAI: He doesn’t even know what the options are yet! Ahem, when you think of a squirrel, what is your first impression of them? Cute and cuddly?

RATATOSKR: Or mean and pushy? There’s only one correct answer. And seeing as how I am a squirrel myself, you’d agree with me, dontcha?  

MIRAI: Hey! Now who’s trying to rig the system?

RATATOSKR: What do you mean?! Just look at me! I’m huge, I’m scary, and I bet I can find out all kinds of juicy information about you.

MIRAI: But you’re the exception! You said it yourself, all the other squirrels have become small and innocent!

RATATOSKR: I never said innocent! I just said it was a lot harder to terrorize people now!

MIRAI: UGh! Fine, Daichi! I mean, Racoon Dog! What’s your answer? 

RATATOSKR: (growls) And pick wisely.

MUSIC: 

DAICHI: Uh!! T-the squirrel is correct! 

RATATOSKR: Yeah!

MIRAI: What?!

DAICHI: I’m sorry! But he’s totally going to kill me if I don’t agree!

RATATOSKR: Haha, well, well, it looks like I won, Fox. Now you owe me.

MIRAI: No way! I lost?! B-but… 

RATATOSKR: See, I told you. Squirrels are mean. We would never help or be kind to others. 

MIRAI: Help others. (realizes something) Help others! Wait! I can still prove that squirrels are nice. 

RATATOSKR: Oh, just give it up already. 

MIRAI: I was stuck up in the tree when we first met. And yet, you helped me get down.

RATATOSKR: That was all for the bet!

MIRAI: You even brought me to the shrine, which you know is a safe location for travelers. Does this not prove you’ve helped someone out?

RATATOSKR: UGHHHH!!!! You tricked me! You must have! This isn’t fair!

MIRAI: It was your own actions that got you here. Well? You have to hold up your end of the bargain.

RATATOSKR: Ugh, fine! But remember, only once, and only something I can actually do. 

MIRAI: Right. I know you need to leave soon, so how about I save this reward for later? Does that work for you?

RATATOSKR: Just drag it out, why don’t you? Whatever, just call out to me when you’re ready. 

MIRAI: Thanks! I will!

RATATOSKR: Hmph, see if I ever stop and chat with a stranger ever again…

SFX: (Ratatoskr leaves, running back down the hill.) 

MIRAI: Buh-bye! Remember your promise!

DAICHI: Mirai, what did you do?

MIRAI: After we separated, I got stuck in a tree! The only way down was to convince that guy to take me somewhere, and it worked! All that chanting to be like a fox paid off!

DAICHI: But why were you stuck in a tree? 

MIRAI: Uhh, because… (lies) that’s what foxes do?

DAICHI: Really? Huh, I never noticed that.

SFX: (Fade out as “Proserpina Bops” plays.)

FADE OUT.

CREDITS:

Residents of Proserpina is a production written and produced by Angela Yeh. Directed by Angela Yeh. Featuring in order the voices of Vida Shi, Zerreth, Pao Panganiban, Spencer Hiroshi Field, Christine, Sam McDonald, Angela Yeh, Maddie Shallan, Skyler Giordano, Ben Pollizi, Ashley Dawson, Sara Roncero-Menendez, and Madi.

Dialogue edited by Angela Yeh. Sound design by Rebecca Liu. Mixed and Mastered by Angela Yeh. Script edited by Sara Roncero-Menendez. Original music by Hoa Pham. Season 4 cover art by Molly James. Series logo by Macy Tang. For more information about the show, please go to our website residentsofproserpinapark.com 

AFTER CREDIT SCENE: (What Daichi was doing the entire time.)

DAICHI: Phew, that was a long trek up. I hope Mirai makes it okay. It should be pretty easy once she gets past the trees.

JUNI: Whoa! A Tanuki!

DAICHI: Oh, hello.

JUNI: Hey! Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude, but you are a Tanuki right?

DAICHI: Yeah. Not a problem. Oh, are you leaving the shrine?

JUNI: Yeah, I was searching for clues on something, but it turns out, I think I’m in the completely wrong place! 

DAICHI: Hmm, but it’ll be dark soon. You shouldn’t travel alone, especially at night. You should stay until morning. 

JUNI: That was the original plan, but I think I can get out of the park before then. Plus, I hear there’s a town closeby. I was thinking about stopping there. 

DAICHI: Oh, I guess that’s true. All right, have a good night then.

JUNI: Yeah, same to you!

SFX: (They both start walking in opposite directions.)

DAICHI: Oh wait! Excuse me!

JUNI: What’s up?

DAICHI: I’m actually looking for somebody. Do you know anyone called Junichi?

JUNI: Yeah. That’s me. 

DAICHI: Oh… That was easy. All right.

SFX: (Daichi grabs Juni and heads towards the shrine.)

JUNI: Hey, wait. What are– ah!