Ep 37 – Devilish Lovers

SCENE START: (They make it to the waters. It’s pretty quiet.)

JUNI: All right, she should be around here somewhere…

DAICHI: Wait, it’s unusually quiet for such a Kappa infested area. 

MIRAI: I don’t see anybody.

JUNI: She told me she had permanently moved back here. It’d be weird if she already changed her mind…

MIRAI: Oh well, I was hoping she could tell us more about the situation going on in Proserpina Park… I think judging by when I got the audio, there’s only about a month left before the deadline… You gotta go home immediately after this Jun-nii.

JUNI: (Dismissive) Sure, sure. But the monkey first. I can’t leave without figuring out why they called me here.

DAICHI: We shouldn’t stay too long regardless… If the Kappa have left, there’s a reason to worry. We should head up to the mountains if we don’t see anyone soon.

MIRAI: (sighs) Nothing seems to be going our way…

JUNI: It’s fine, look at this gorgeous scenery! It could be worse.

MIRAI: Maybe we can check back here again on our way down?

DAICHI: Wow, Mirai willingly walking more?

MIRAI: Hey! I bet you were also really excited when you saw a Kappa, right Jun-nii?… (silence) Jun-nii?

JUNI: (Dazed) Hmm?

MIRAI: Are you okay?

JUNI: Yeah… Just. I don’t know. It sounds silly, but I know I’m meant to be here. But I don’t know why.

MIRAI: You really think the monkeys are drawing you here?

JUNI: I thought so… But it doesn’t make sense does it?

MIRAI: …Who’s to say…

DAICHI: I think there’s gotta be something else. Why couldn’t the monkeys talk to you at the shrine? Why make you come all the way to the park? This isn’t their usual M.O

JUNI: But what else could it be?

MIRAI: Don’t worry Jun-nii, we’ll definitely get you answers, even if we have to beat up a monkey to get them. 

DAICHI: (laughs) Seeing Mirai fight a monkey would definitely make this adventure worth it.

MIRAI: Hmph, I can take them!

JUNI: Well, since Mirai’s all pumped up, let’s get going then. It doesn’t seem like the Kappas are around… 

SFX: (All of a sudden the Kappa jumps out of the water and is frantic.)

KAPPA: (To herself) Ugh, I can’t believe I almost bumped into that disgusting– (Sees the gang) You! Ugh I have no time for this. 

JUNI: The Kappa!

SFX: (The water starts bubbling.)

DAICHI: Whoa, what’s going on?

MIRAI: Is someone else with you?

KAPPA: No, no!!… Well all right, if you’re going to hang around, there’s no time to explain, we need to go now! Chop, chop, chop, chop.

MIRAI: Go where?

KAPPA: Anywhere! Come on, I think there’s a cave we can hide in. Quickly, quickly!

JUNI: But!… But the monkeys…

FADE OUT.

NEXT SCENE: (They all run off to a cave. “Proserpina Bop” plays.)

MIRAI: Oh gosh, a real life Kappa! I finally got to meet one! It’s not fair that you and Junpei got to meet all these cool creatures!

DAICHI: I’m right here you know… I’m cool…

JUNI: So, who was following you?

KAPPA: A gross old man.

JUNI: (confused) Who?

KAPPA: Nevermind! (laughs) Now who is this? I thought you were leaving the park, child. 

JUNICHI: Change of plans it seems. Meet my little sister, Mirai. (MIRAI: Hi!) and Daichi, the tanuki (DAICHI: Hello.)

JUNICHI: They think the monkeys might be elsewhere in the park, so I’m staying a bit longer.

DAICHI: I’m taking him up to the mountains.

KAPPA: You didn’t check up there yet? Well, I could have told you that you needed to start there. Aha.

JUNICHI: You could? Why didn’t you?

KAPPA: I thought it was obvious…

JUNICHI: Guess I need to brush up on my animal ecosystems…

MIRAI: You’re the Kappa from Proserpina Park right? What are you doing here?

KAPPA: (scoffs) Dear. That park? I left before everything fell apart. Why bother staying? I tell you, humans create the worst problems.

MIRAI: But… we’re human.

KAPPA: Oh, not you two. You’re fine. 

MIRAI: Thanks… But what did you mean–

SFX: (A small splash! Everyone peeks to see who it is, but nothing happens.)

KAPPA: (Shushing sounds) Hush now, we can’t let him find us!

DAICHI: (Whispering) You said it was an old man right? Did you mean creature or human?

KAPPA: It’s a creature, unfortunately. 

JUNICHI: Oh! We should meet them then!

KAPPA: Boy! What are you doing– No we should not meet him, he’s the most annoying, persistent creature I’ve ever met. He’ll seduce your sister if you’re not lucky.

MIRAI: Bleh! I wouldn’t fall in love with an old man! 

KAPPA: And yet you’d be surprised how often it happens in mythology. Probably due to who created them…

DAICHI: An old man creature who can seduce women… There are quite a couple of those. But why would he bother you? I’ve never heard of this happening.

KAPPA: (gasp) I’m as attractive if not even more attractive than human women! If only he’d get the picture that I’m not interested in him. I don’t fall for wannabe gentlemen.

SFX: (The sound of someone getting out of the water. Wet footstep sounds approach. Their hiding spot has been found.)

KAPPA: (disappointed) Oh, he’s here.

VODYANOY: Come now, Kappa, is this how you treat a guest? 

MIRAI:  Is that… another Kappa? Woah, oh my god he’s naked. Ah!

KAPPA: How insulting!? Do you have eyes? Of course it’s not a Kappa. It’s a… (begrudging) Vodyanoy…

JUNI: Vodyanoy? Sounds… Slavic…

VODYANOY: Russian, my boy. Though I do have Slavic counterparts… (realizes they’re human) Oh? Children. From the human world. My, my, how things have changed since my last visit. 

KAPPA: You don’t visit, you trespass! 

DAICHI: (Tries to recall) A Vodyanoy… (remembers) Wait a minute, you’re a water spirit that drowns people!

VODYANOY: And? What water spirit doesn’t?

DAICHI: Uh… Okay fair. Mirai, Junichi, don’t get too close to the— and he’s walking over.

JUNICHI: I thought the Kappa had an interesting design, but this is a whole new level. A frog head! And this body! Black fish scales, webbed feet… 

VODYANOY: You’re not scared? Well, well, guess I still got it.

KAPPA: Ugh, disgusting. Have some standards please! And you! Have some decency and get back into the water!

SFX: (Splash sounds as Kappa shoves Vodyanoy into the pond.)

VODYANOY: Woah!

MIRAI: Ugh, thank you… So the Kappa is turtle like, and the Vodyanoy is frog like?

JUNI: You know, I thought that, but the long whiskers and the webbed paws actually kinda reminds me more of an otter.

MIRAI: (gasp) Don’t you dare compare a cute little otter to… to this guy!

DAICHI: (to the side) Guys… Reminder, drowning. Kidnapping. Murder? Don’t get too close!

VODYANOY: You can’t win them all. I can shape shift though, if you have a type.

KAPPA: (gasps) Don’t hit on children! And you wonder why everyone leaves when you show up.

VODYANOY: Hey, I’m considered a god in some areas. Humans make sacrifices to me. Otherwise I’d break dams and mills, and whatever else that could cause them to suffer.

MIRAI: Um, it sounds like they’re forced to worship you…

VODYANOY: Well… I’ll also take tobacco for a good fish harvest…

MIRAI: (sarcastic) Oh, how kind of you…

VODYANOY: Now, now, I’m not all that bad. I don’t even bother humans all that much. It’s only my… third favorite thing to do after playing cards and smoking.

JUNI: That is still pretty concerning…

KAPPA: (laughs) See, the humans aren’t buying it at all. You’ve lost your touch!

VODYANOY: Oh please, it’s just so much fun when you dangle something shiny underwater and they try to reach for it. 

JUNI: Okay, I think I will step back now.

VODYANOY: (huffy) Well, would you rather meet a Vodnik?

DAICHI: Vodnik… Oh! That’s your Slavic version right?

JUNI: Is there a huge difference?

VODYANOY: Yes, we even look very different. They look like a regular boring green human.

JUNI: Most humans aren’t green.

VODYANOY: The live ones at least.

MIRAI: Okay, I don’t like this.

DAICHI: Oh, the Vodniks’ lore is actually pretty similar to the Kappas’, isn’t it?

KAPPA: (gasp) No comment.

SFX: (Splashing sounds as someone gets dragged into the water. All of a sudden things sound muffled like we’re underwater.)

VODYANOY: So after drowning and killing a human, they will then drag their soul into a porcelain teapot, which is a prize for them.

SFX: (The sound of someone drowning and then being stuffed into a teapot. The lid closes on them.)

MIRAI: Why would they do something like that?!

SFX: (Maybe like marbles plopping into the jar/teapot)

VODYANOY: The more souls one has in the teapot, the more respected they are. In fact, you should have so many, you need to have multiple teapots. Although, you gotta be careful, other Vodnik might try to take you down by freeing the souls trapped in there. It’s a very brutal system.

SFX: (The teapot breaks.)

JUNI: But why do they need to trap souls anyways?

VODYANOY: How else can you show off your wealth underwater? By the amount of fish there are? It’s water, there’s fish everywhere!

KAPPA: What a waste of a human soul. See that’s where you all go about this wrong. Why on earth would you keep such a tasty treat in such a flimsy container like a teapot when one’s stomach is an obviously better option? There’s no way for a soul to run away if it’s dissolving in your digestive system.

MIRAI: I see where the similarities are kicking in…

VODYANOY: No, no my dear. The more souls the better. You can’t show off your wins if you hide them away like that. 

KAPPA: And I’m telling you you’re wrong! There’s nothing better than snacking on a human soul. 

VODYANOY: Come now, you can’t show off anything if you’ve eaten it! Think of… precious cucumber. If you eat it, it’s gone!

DAICHI: I think both options are pretty valid.

MIRAI: Daichi! Don’t encourage them!

VODYANOY: Then let me ask you human child, would you rather your soul kept in a pretty tea pot or would you rather have your soul eaten?

KAPPA: Oh hush now, of course she’s going to say she’d be rather be kept in the pot when there’s an option of escaping!

MIRAI: Yeah, that’s definitely the better option…

VODYANOY: And this is why Vodyanoy is so popular!

KAPPA: Ha! You dare say that when you’re literally in Japan?!

VODYANOY: Are you saying you get a lot of… suitors coming your way?

KAPPA: Why I– A lady would never disclose her paramours.

MUSIC: (“Park in Twilight” Piano theme plays.)

VODYANOY: (shocked) You… have partners? Who? 

KAPPA: And why do you care who I talk to? You didn’t so much as visit me when I was living in America!

VODYANOY: But you didn’t even tell me where you went! One day you just left! How was I supposed to find you?

KAPPA: I… I thought I told you. I told everyone I was leaving!

VODYANOY: Well not me! I came back from Russia to visit and you were gone! 

KAPPA: Oh… Vody, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.

MIRAI: (disgusted) Vody…

JUNI: I guess their relationship is closer than we thought.

DAICHI: Anyone else kinda feeling uncomfortable?

VODYANOY: But you’re back for good now, yes? We have so much to catch up on. Had I known you were back, I would have saved some human souls for you. 

KAPPA: Oh, that is so kind of you. You were the only one who’s ever offered.

MIRAI: Okay yeah, I’m uncomfortable now. 

DAICHI: We should go.

JUNI: Yeah, let’s leave the lovebirds alone.

MIRAI: Oh wait, you two go ahead, I have one more question.

DAICHI: You sure? I feel like they’re definitely going to steal your soul if you stay any longer.

MIRAI: As sure as I can be I guess…

JUNI: Just call us the minute they aim for your butt. I don’t want to have to explain anything to Mom.

MIRAI: I’ll be fine!

SFX: (Daichi and Junichi leave. The Vodyanoy and the Kappa are still lost in each other’s eyes.)

MIRAI: (ahem) Excuse me, Kappa? 

KAPPA: Not now child, I have so many years to make up for.

MIRAI: I understand, I just have a really quick question.

VODYANOY: Ignore her my love, come, join me in the waters.

SFX: (They start leaving in the water.)

MIRAI: Wait please! I just need to know. 

KAPPA: Oh, what is it?!

MIRAI: The park! You never fully explained how Proserpina Park is!

KAPPA: And I told you, the park is a hot mess. It’s too late, child. Whatever the humans over there were going to do, there’s no way they’ll actually save it on time.

SFX: (They finally leave as the Kappa laughs farewell.)

MIRAI: But then, what do I do?

FADE OUT.

CREDITS:

Residents of Proserpina is a production written and produced by Angela Yeh. Directed by Angela Yeh. Featuring in order the voices of Vida Shi, Zerreth, Pao Panganiban, Spencer Hiroshi Field, Christine, Sam McDonald, Angela Yeh, Maddie Shallan, Skyler Giordano, Ben Pollizi, Ashley Dawson, Sara Roncero-Menendez, and Madi.

Dialogue edited by Angela Yeh. Sound design by Rebecca Liu. Mixed and Mastered by Angela Yeh. Script edited by Sara Roncero-Menendez. Original music by Hoa Pham. Season 4 cover art by Molly James. Series logo by Macy Tang. For more information about the show, please go to our website residentsofproserpinapark.com

AFTER CREDIT SCENE: (Mirai meets up with Daichi, and Juni outside the watery area. There’s a slight rumbling that’s not noticeable yet)

JUNI: Hey, everything okay? They didn’t actually try anything did they?

MIRAI: No– I mean, I’m okay. 

DAICHI: What did you ask them?

MIRAI: Oh, just something about back home, don’t worry about it. 

DAICHI: Okay… Well, it was nice that nothing too serious happened here at least right?

JUNI: Yeah, considering we did meet with two creatures that could have tried to drown us. 

MIRAI: True, but still, I’ll be happy once I’m back in a place with wifi again.

DAICHI: Well come on then, from here on out it should be smooth sailing.

SFX: (The rumbling finally gets loud enough that they notice.)

JUNI: What is that?

DAICHI: Whatever it is, it isn’t good.

SFX: (The Kitsune jumps out from the tree area, finally catching up to the gang.)

KITSUNE: There you are!

MIRAI: Kitsune??? What are you doing here?

KITSUNE: No time! We have to go, now!

MIRAI: Ooh, what happened to smooth sailing???

SFX: (The rumbling gets louder.)

FADE OUT.