Ep 05 – Aliens are Man’s Best Friend?

INTRO: (It’s about summertime. The Narrator’s laptop hums almost as loud as the grasshoppers in the warm evening. “Proserpina Bop” bleeds through her headphones as she pulls up some files.) 

NARRATOR:

Just finished all my finals so guess what I’m doing today! Oh geez, I wonder if the summer heat is finally getting to me, how can I be excited over this random story? Still no response from Alina yet, but I’m hoping she’ll bite. Last time, it seemed like Alina kinda got through with Sam by giving him her phone number, but I don’t know if Sam would actually contact her. 

SCENE STARTS: (“Proserpina Bop” transitions to the new scene. Alina and Drew are on their way to the park.)

ALINA:

Hey guys! With Drew again here (Drew: Hey) We’re on our way back to the park. Last time was a bit wild, ha… so we’re thinking of like, maybe keeping it simple and looking at, I don’t know, trees… or something.

DREW:

Honestly, there might be some trees that we could find in the park.

ALINA:

Wait, I was… kinda joking about that.

DREW:

Maybe we could find some kind of important fruit, like the sinful apples in Adam and Eve!

ALINA:

Oooh, don’t tell the church (laughs)

DREW:

Oooor, maybe some kinda fruit that can make us immortal?

ALINA:

Genius, we’ll be rich by dinner— 

JUN:

Whoa, excuse me sorry.

DREW:

Hey dude, watch where you’re going— oh my god.

JUN:

Really, sorry about that.

DREW:

What is that?

ALINA:

I’m… getting deja vu all over again.

JUN:

Uh, haven’t you guys ever seen a dog before?

DOG:

Bark.

DREW:

Did that thing really just say the word, “bark” and not actually bark?

ALINA:

You’re joking about seriously trying to pass this as a dog right?

JUN:

Uh… maybe it’s you guys who need to get their eyes checked. Dog is a dog.

ALINA: 

Look, we know about the park.

JUN:

Uh, park? You’re sounding kinda crazy, I’m just trying to walk my dog while trying to figure out the trajectory for us to travel to Pluto.

DREW:

That’s a rather specific subject to think about.

JUN:

We’ll probably be heading to Mars by the end of the decade, and by then, why stop there? We need to try and get out of this solar system.

ALINA:

And why is that exactly?

JUN:

Aliens!

DREW:

(whispers) Oh, boy. Alina, we should go. I’ve met a ton of people like this guy, and trust me, the minute the “A-word” is mentioned, they’ll never stop talking about it.

ALINA:

(whispers) Wait, even if he’s crazy, Dog has to be a resident of the park. We need to talk with them. How about we go to a cafe for a minute?

DREW:

(whispers) A cafe? I’m stuck in one most of my time… I wanted to go to the park…

ALINA:

(whispers) Our get rich quick scheme can wait, I wanna know more about this guy. (stops whispering) Hi, I’m Alina.

DREW:

Drew.

JUN:

You can call me Jun. And obviously, this is Dog.

DREW:

We were just going to our favorite park! Would you be able to join us? There’s been some… extraterrestrial activity lately in this area.

ALINA:

Drew! I said cafe!

JUN:

Whoa, whoa whoa, wait what park? There’s not one in this vicinity at all. And I don’t know you guys— whoa! Quick pulling! Haven’t you heard of stranger danger? 

SOUND: (Drew starts dragging Jun towards the entrance of the park.)

DREW:

Says the guy who’s ready to meet aliens.

JUN:

That’s a completely different scenario and you know it! And— whoa. We’re in a park.

ALINA:

Yeah, welcome… 

JUN:

Wait, I know for a fact that there should be no parks around here. I’ve lived in this area for over twenty years now.

ALINA:

Let’s just say it’s a new discovery for all of us.

DOG:

Ah, it feels good to be bark.

EVERYONE:

*Screaming*

ALINA:

Dude, your dog just talked. 

JUN:

That’s not my dog! Why does she look like that?!

DREW:

I knew she really said the word “bark,” who does that?

ALINA:

Uh… Dog. Hi. Have you been able to talk all this time?

DREW:

We told you she’s not a dog! How have you not realized this?

JUN:

I don’t know! She’s my brother’s dog! But he went to Japan recently so I had to take care of her.

MUSIC: (“Tell Me” plays.) 

DOG:

I believe I can clear up this misunderstanding here. I am a creature of this park. But I wanted to learn more, so I chose to go out into the world. The creatures here were most helpful, in I believe they call it, “glamorizing” me. 

So, for everyone on this planet, I look like a dog. Specifically a Shiba Inu. I chose a dog that was known to not act like a dog so I could get away with not understanding Earth’s intricate dog culture.

ALINA:

But why can Drew and I see who you really are?

DOG:

Because of this park. I want to quickly clarify that, while I am an alien, I am also a fabricated alien created by human beings’ minds. My true form, as you can see, is that of the stereotypical little green martian that you all may be familiar with. 

JUN:

And that’s how my brother found you? Like, are you okay with wearing a collar and a leash? I feel super bad now. 

DOG:

I’m used to it, I believe young human girls occasionally wear this look for fashion?

ALINA:

Uh, yeah. Usually no leash attached though… Also, if you’re a resident of this park, how are you able to leave? 

DOG:

Everyone in the park has the capability to leave, whether they choose to or not is up to them, however, we’ve learned that it’s getting to be a hassle if a human does spot us. All of a sudden there are cameras everywhere and a crowd of unnecessary people in the woods getting lost. 

Since I can hide my true form, it’s a lot easier for me to stay in the human world, than say, the person with the really big feet.

ALINA:

But then, why wouldn’t everyone in this park just “glamorize” themselves as well? 

DOG:

Ah, well, how do you know that isn’t the case? Still, each of us has our own personal beliefs. Whether we want to stay in the park or go out, “glamour” or “no glamour,” the choice is ours to make.

DREW:

I can’t believe it. So, there’s a chance we could have already met a mythical creature.

ALINA:
I wonder why Sam never mentioned that to me.

DOG:
Ah, so Sam is here? What about Jessica?

ALINA:

I haven’t met anyone else in this park besides Sam… Who is Jessica?

DOG:

Another friend. I guess it makes sense that she wouldn’t remain here… I’ll have to see if I can find her again somehow.

ALINA:

Say, since you know Sam, can I ask you a few questions about him?

JUN:

Wait, wait, before you guys go and talk about your friends, can we PLEASE be a little more normal, and freak out with me? Because this is not normal!!

DREW:
Dude, I thought you wanted to meet aliens? Here you go!

JUN:

But! B-but that’s just it! How do I wrap my head around the fact that I’ve been living with an alien for FIVE years? I have so many questions! And this park! There just so happens to be a magical park in our town? What are the odds? I need to know everything.

ALINA:

And Sam thinks I’m crazy for saying the same thing. 

DREW:

Uh, Alina, I don’t think it’s the best idea to compare yourself to the guy screaming by himself over there. 

ALINA:

True, but you have to admit, I’m not crazy to think that this is all so wild! There’s a connection here. I need to get to the bottom of all this!

JUN:
Tell me what you already know. Maybe I can help.

DREW:
Whoa, where’d you pull that notebook out from?

JUN:

An engineer always has to be prepared.

DOG:

You forget your wallet at least once a week and make your poor sister go out and bring it to you.

JUN:
Irrelevant! Now, let’s talk.

ALINA:

Wait, there’s something I need to say first. There’s a guy here named Sam. He’s practically native to this park, and I‘ve been meeting him. But I promised him I would never speak about this park to anyone else nor would I ever bring people here.

JUN:

Uh… Isn’t that a recorder in your hand right there…

ALINA:

Yes. Despite my promises, I’ve been recording everything I see and I’ve been bringing Drew here, but I’m not going to share anything until I find out what I’m here to discover. And I trust Drew to not discuss it with anyone else. 

DREW:

My lips are sealed.

ALINA:

Now, I don’t know you, so I need to know that I can actually trust you. 

JUN:

Well one, I’m already in the park so you can’t stop me even if you tried— 

ALINA:

Ah, wait right there. There are specific instructions to get to this park, so don’t think you can just waltz back in after this. 

DOG:

Don’t worry, Alina, you can trust that I will keep an eye on Jun. Plus, he’s a “good boy” as I believe you humans say.

ALINA:

Jun, promise me that you will never come to this park without me, you will never tell anyone else about this park, and we will share all information we find out about here.

JUN:
Deal. Now, start talking. 

SOUND: (Audio stops for a moment before Alina turns back on the recorder.)

ALINA:

Okay, I shut off the recorder for a bit since we were discussing what I already know.

JUN:

I need some time to process everything you’ve just said… I kinda wanna go to the pond to see if the Kappa is still there… but also black dogs and ant lions and snakes in the sky? That’s crazy. So what kinda adventure were you guys going to do today?

ALINA:

Uh, we were gonna look at some trees…

JUN:

What?! What’s the point of looking at nature? It’s not like they do anything cool…

DREW:

Excuse you, sir, nature has always been a key point in every culture’s mythology. Have you never heard of Yggdrasil? 

JUN:

Oh, Gesundheit! 

DREW:

No, you idiot. It’s the famous tree in Norse mythology. You know, Thor and Loki?

JUN:

Oh what, because I’m an alien fanatic, I’d instantly know about comics? Please, tell me the correlation.

ALINA:

Okayyyy, Let’s all breathe. Drew, how about you tell us more about this tree.

MUSIC: (“We Can Meet Aliens” plays.)

DREW:

Well, this is just one of the many world trees that exist in mythology. There are two kinds: The first kind are trees that are so big, they reach the heavens and underworld. This goes along with the theory that there are multiple worlds or universes that are all connected to each other, so it’s aptly named. 

JUN:

Okay, but if these trees are so big, wouldn’t we be able to see them even if they were miles and miles away?

ALINA:

Hmm, Jun does have a point. I’ve never seen anything that big in the park, they might not exist here.

DOG:

Affirmative. To find these trees, you would have to go to the location where their stories originated.

ALINA:

Oh, well I guess now that we have a park expert here, it’ll make things easier for us to know where to go. 

JUN:

Although if these trees connected to other worlds, does that mean if we climbed them we could meet aliens? 

DREW:

Oh my god…

JUN:

Okay, but hear me out, hear me out! Now that we know this park exists, that means we can solve so many things about what has happened in history!

ALINA:

What do you mean?

JUN:

Who really built the Great Pyramids? Are crop circles really from aliens? Or just ridiculously bored farmers? Do you know how many official air force documents on aliens there are?

DREW:

Please, those are all conspiracy theories.

JUN:

All theories come from somewhere!

ALINA:

Well, why don’t we just ask Dog?

DOG:

I can neither confirm nor deny such theories, that would then make me, a mythical creature, not mythical.

JUN:

But Dog… you’re my dog! Where’s the loyalty here?

ALINA:

Is there any other information that you know that we can ask?

DOG:

No comment.

ALINA:

Wow, really, no loyalty?

DREW:

Okay, I don’t really want to deal with two pouty adults. How about we stick to our original plan and go hunting for some fancy fruit that are more likely to be here.

JUN:

What kind of trees have fancy fruit?

DREW:

The second kind of world trees; ones that symbolize wisdom and life. These are the trees that bear fruit like the apple that Adam and Eve ate to gain knowledge, or Chinese peaches that grant immortality. It’d be wild if we actually find them in this park! 

JUN:

What and sell them to the public? That’s a sure way to get caught by this Sam guy. 

DREW:

Ugh, it was just an idea!

ALINA:

Drew, I think at this point, we might as well call it a night. We spent too much time chatting…

DREW:

But I didn’t get to see anything!

JUN:

How often do you guys come here? Because whatever it is that you’re trying to figure out? I want in.

ALINA:

Fine, let’s get each other’s contact info. I think Dog here would be a good partner to have.

JUN:

Hey, what about me?

DOG:

Alina, a word, please.

SOUND: (Drew and Jun start to bicker off in the background. They all walk towards the exit of the park.)

ALINA:

What’s up?

DOG:

I wanted to talk about Sam. How is he?

ALINA:

Fine, I suppose! Granted, I’ve only known him for about a couple of weeks, but he seems okay to me. A kappa said he’s been… gloomy, but I thought it was just his image. 

DOG:

I see. Alina, while I know everyone is interested in arranging another gathering, I must decline for Jun and myself. I fear if Sam were to discover this betrayal, he may never trust again.  

OUTRO: (We return to the Narrator. “Proserpina Bop” transitions back to her room.) 

NARRATOR:

I… I need to call my brother.

SCENE ENDS: (“Proserpina Bop” ends the episode.)

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