Ep 19 – Return of the Terry

INTRO: Fox Ears, aka the Kitsune, appears in front of Mirai again.

MIRAI:

Will You. Please. Stop. Surprising me. Like this. My heart can’t take this. Also, where did you go?

KITSUNE:

Thanks to you, I had to go into hiding for a bit. I can’t believe you would just reveal one’s identity just like that. What a rude little mouse you are.

MIRAI:

I didn’t do anything! There was a leaf stuck in your hair! Isn’t it better to have someone remove it instead of looking like an idiot in front of everyone else?

KITSUNE:

No one else can see it but you! Don’t you know the stories? The leaves are how I change things into whatever I want people to see. 

MIRAI:

Are you saying… the fox I saw just before was actually… you? But that’s impossible. Mythical beings aren’t real.

KITSUNE:

Look here. See this leaf in my hand? Now, what do you see?

SOUND: (The Kitsune poofs the leaf to look like a mask.)

MIRAI:

T-that’s, that’s just sleight of hand! Every magician knows a trick like that! I bet you had this mask hiding behind you.

KITSUNE:

(Sighs) Modern humans always have an excuse to not believe something they are literally seeing with their own eyes. You’re learning about the park right now, aren’t you? I thought that was why you’re going there. 

MIRAI:

What do you mean?

KITSUNE:

The last stop on this bus is one of the only ways to get to Kukunochi Park. Creatures like me take it all the time. Is that not what you’re doing?

MIRAI:

I’m here to find my brother! He said he was coming here before he hung up. That’s all I know about where I’m going.

KITSUNE:

Oh… well that’s rather poor planning on your part isn’t it, little mouse?

SCENE STARTS: (“Proserpina Bops” plays as Alina enters the cafe, greeting Drew, Jun, and Dog.) 

DOG:

So, we’ve decided? Today’s the day?

ALINA:

I think so. Drew, you got the salt?

DREW:

Yup, my manager didn’t even care how much I took.

ALINA:

Oh, wow… Good to make note of. Jun, you got the camping gear?

JUN:

Yup! Hey if all goes well, maybe next time I can bring out my telescope as well. We’d probably be able to see like everything out there!

DOG:

Okay, and the lion dogs know to meet us at this point. Anything else we’re forgetting?

ALINA:

I think we’re all set. It’s also been a month since Sam’s been in the park. We have to find him. Who knew he could hold such a grudge…

DREW:

So that means we’re all ready to take on Terry’s challenge, right? 

ALINA/DOG/JUN:

Yup! / Woof! / Let’s do this.

NEXT SCENE: (They go to the park. The lion dogs are also already there as they approach Terry.)

ALINA:

Okay, there’s Terry, just as expected. All right guys, let’s play it cool. 

JUN:

Ugh, I already feel nervous.

DREW:

Well, don’t show it! Terry definitely smells fear. 

SOUND: (They walk up to Terry, Cerberus starts growling.)

TERRY:

Ugh, I see you all are back. What is that park ranger even doing…

ALINA:

Terry, we’re here to accept your challenge. For real this time. 

TERRY:

Too bad. I told you all to leave the first time. You don’t get a second chance. Go home. 

ALINA:

W-what? No, but we have to talk to Sam!

TERRY:

It doesn’t matter. You don’t belong in this park. You don’t get to meet Sam ever again. 

ALINA:

Terry, please, let’s talk about this! We’ve learned so much about the park now. What do we have to do to prove we mean well?

TERRY:

If you think you know the park so well, why do you even need Sam?

ALINA:

Because we’re friends!

TERRY:

Sam doesn’t have any friends.

DOG:

Yes, he does! He has me, he has Alina, and he has everyone who lives in this park.

DREW:

Yeah!

TERRY:

(Scoffs) Fine, you guys are this confident? Then we’ll do a challenge all right. 

DREW:

Whatever you got, we’re ready!

TERRY:

You’re no longer just staying overnight in the park. You’re going to capture something with me as well.

JUN:

What? How can we possibly do that?

TERRY:

You’re the ones that said you know what to do in the park now. Where’d all that confidence go?

DOG:

What exactly do you want us to capture, Terry?

TERRY:

A Vetala has surprisingly decided to pay a visit to the park recently. I just want to know exactly what they’re doing here.

ALINA:

I thought any creature was allowed to come here. Why is it so strange for them to be in the park?

TERRY:

Because they should be in a cemetery, not chilling in a park.

JUN:

Oh right, Dog mentioned something about cemeteries before.

DREW:

W-wait, wait, wait. W-w-w-w-w-wait. Wait. You want us to catch them with you? As in, we’re doing this together?

TERRY:

I was just going to call on some more friends. But if you’re all willing to step up to the challenge, maybe I’ll give you a reward. 

ALINA:

Okay… but before we agree to all of this, what exactly is a Vetala?

DOG:

Oh! It’s a creature from Hindu mythology. It’s similar to both the zombie and the ghoul. They typically live between the realm of the living and that of the dead. 

DREW:

Two for one? Oh boy… What a bonus for us.

TERRY:

When they appear on Earth, they typically hang out around cemeteries because they need a body to live in. And once they have one, well, they can do whatever the hell they want.

JUN:

Something tells me that, they don’t want to just hang in cemeteries…

DOG:

Jun, that’s… pretty spot on. Their favorite pastime is to trick humans. They can even drive people insane, cause miscarriages, and kill them.

ALINA:

Oh, joy. Why couldn’t we go catch, I don’t know, Big Foot? That was a creature I actually wanted to talk to.

TERRY:

Why? They smell worse than the dead.

DREW:

You’re insane, Terry. If we’re going to agree to your crazy mission, you must have some kind of wild plan to capture these creatures.

TERRY:

Luckily for us, it’s just one. Like I said, this is a rare occurrence for them to appear in the park. There are multiple stories of humans using the Vetala for their own purposes.

DOG:

You mean sorcerers Terry. Sorcerers like you.

TERRY:

Oh, don’t you worry. Cerberus and I will be able to protect you from going mad from the Vetala, but you all are going to have to talk to them and figure out what they want with the park.

JUN:

H-how are you going to do that? I mean, how are WE going to be able to do that?

TERRY:

Luckily they have a known weakness. Talismans. Specially created by the Hindu priests to help solve this problem.

ALINA:

Why can’t we just use those or have Cerberus scare away the Vetala?

TERRY:

We’re not here to try and scare anyone away! Just because a Vetala doesn’t usually come to the park, doesn’t mean they’re not welcome! I just need to make sure everything is okay. They’re not just ghouls. The reason why they can make people crazy is because they know all about humans. They can see the past, present, and future and are vastly intelligent. 

DREW:

(Whispers to themselves) Must be nice, if only we got this kinda treatment around here…

ALINA:

So all we gotta do is go up to the creature and ask if they are in this park for any specific reason? Like, what? An apocalypse or something, and that’s it?

JUN:

Alina! Why would you say something so ominous like that…

TERRY:

Basically the point. 

TERRY:

You can bring your little yappers as well if you don’t trust us. 

JUN:

Uh yes, please.

ALINA:

(Sighs) Well, team? What do we think?

DREW:

Well, we are a bigger group now. It makes me feel a little better.

JUN:

What do you say, Dog?

DOG:

…I think we can pull it off. Terry may not be nice, but they’ll keep their word. They should keep us safe as long as we stick to ours.

ALINA:

Do you have any ideas on how to convince the Vetala?

TERRY:

If we’re all in agreement how about we get going?

ALINA:

Fine, fine! We can walk and talk. Let’s go guys.

SOUND: (They start their walk to find the Vetala.)

MUSIC: (“Creatures of the Night” starts playing.)

DOG:

There’s a famous legend about a king who once tried to convince a Vetala to join a sorcerer. 

TERRY:

Ah, the twenty-five tales of the Vetala.

DOG:

Well, basically, the Vetala agrees to come down from a tree and meet the sorcerer as long as the King abides by certain rules. (VETALA: I like it here.) The Vetala would ask the King questions. If the King knows the answer and says it out loud, the Vetala won’t come down. (VETALA: Nuh-uh-uh) If the King knows the answer and stays quiet to make it seem like he doesn’t, his head will explode into a million little pieces. (VETALA: Kaboom!)

DREW:

Wait, how does that even make sense? Don’t creatures typically want you to solve their riddles?

DOG:

Not riddles, questions.

TERRY:

I told you, they’re tricksters who know everything. 

ALINA:

So how could he possibly get the Vetala to approach?

DOG:

With the third and final rule. If the King doesn’t know the answer, the Vetala will come down. (VETALA: You did it! You’re dumb!) 

JUN:

Well, this could be easy! There’s tons of things that we don’t know.

ALINA:

Hey! We know stuff. 

DOG:

It took the king twenty-five questions before he could finally say that he didn’t know the answer. 

ALINA:

What was it?

DREW:

Alina, isn’t it better not to know?

TERRY:

I highly doubt the Vetala will ask the same question twice.

DOG:

True um… but it is a rather unconventional question.

ALINA:

It’s okay, just uh tell us.

DOG/VETALA:

All right. “If the prince marries the queen, and the princess marries the king, and each couple has a baby, what is the relation between the two newborns?”

ALINA:

Wait… are they… are they— Are they all related in this scenario?

DREW:

Ewwww. Barf city.

TERRY:

Humans, am I right?

DOG:

(Annoyed) You’re half human Terry.

ALINA:

So what happens after the King was able to get the Vetala to come down?

DOG:

Well, there are many variations. My favorite is that the Vetala was actually secretly teaching the King to think more critically and realize that the sorcerer was actually trying to trick the king into giving him the Vetala so he could then take over the kingdom. (VETALA: Hey, psttt. That guy sucks!)

DREW:

Oh, snap, that is straight-up reality show shit.

DOG:

Well, yes, that is what mythology also was, back in the days before television was a thing.

JUN:

This is all very helpful and everything, but how will we know what we’re supposed to find out about the park from the Vetala? What if they just actually wanted a nice stroll in the park?

TERRY:

Then we leave them alone and I get to sleep tonight. But they’re not creatures that plan excursions like that. There must be something we need to know. Now quickly, the light is fading. Believe me when I say there’s worse things than death here in this park.

OUTRO: (We return to Mirai. “Proserpina Bop” plays as the sound of the bus comes back in.) 

MIRAI:

Hey! Can you stop taking that?

KITSUNE:

We should finish our conversation first. What are you going to do, little mouse?

MIRAI:

What do you mean?

KITSUNE:

We’re almost at the end of our travels. You’ve been listening to these files and know how dangerous things are. Will you then go into the park, believing everything you’ve listened to and finding your brother, or will you run back home now, and continue to think that this is all just a story? 

Patient 33

[Honking, Music Plays, traffic and sirens in the background throughout] 

Nurse Jennie: We need an operating room. We’re running a code and we got head trauma. 

Dr. Terrier: I need 4 CC’s of pentobarbital, stat! Dr. Why: So you’re the new admit I’ve been hearing about? Dr. Terrier: I swear, Fisher, I’m gonna have you fired for this. Dr. Blue: What’s got Terrier in such a mood? 

Dr. Homely: Staffing problems 

Dr. Why: Mr. M 33 John Doe? 

Dr. Homely: We can’t talk about it here. This guy might wake up. Janitor Fisher: Ha! This guy’s not waking up anytime soon. He’s in a coma! 

Nurse Jennie: No! How many times do I have to tell you no, I won’t do it! 

Dr. Cartwright: I don’t know, and I don’t care. 

Dr. Why: I know this is the forever ward, but I sometimes think I’m the only one with hope! 

Dr. Terrier: Any sign of bruising? 

Dr. Why: Oooh pants! A clue! 

[Unintelligible conversation] 

Dr. Cartwright: Okay, so, he’s definitely in a coma. Nurse Margie: Ugh, what’s the coma patient doing out here?

“Patient 33 is available on all podcatchers today. Visit patient33.com for transcripts and more information.” 

Nurse Jennie: Patient 33, welcome to the hospital.