Ep 20 – Riddles are Overrated

INTRO: The Kitsune and Mirai continue their discussion.

MIRAI:

I think I need more evidence to prove that everything I’ve been listening to is real!

KITSUNE:   

What more do you need… 

MIRAI:

Can I… feel your ears?

KITSUNE:   

Absolutely not. 

MIRAI:   

Oh, come on! Why not?! Are they actually fake, you liar!

SOUND: (The two banter as Mirai gets closer to Kikyo’s ears. Mirai accidentally pulls on Kikyo’s hair and reveals that Kikyo has no human ears.)

MIRAI:   

(Screams) Where are your ears!?

KITSUNE:

What do you mean where are my ears! You’ve been trying to touch them with your grubby little hands! 

MIRAI:

No! Those have to be fake! Why are the sides of your head smooth! Ugh, this is so weird!

KITSUNE:   

Why would I have four ears? 

MIRAI:   

Are you actually a kitsune?!

KITSUNE:   

Yes, how many times do I need to tell you this? 

SCENE STARTS: (“Proserpina Bops” plays as we return to  Alina and the gang searching for the Vetala.) 

JUN:   

The darkness… it crept up so suddenly…

TERRY:   

You’re fine, Cerberus will notice anyone approaching. 

ALINA:

Hey Terry, if Cerberus is your family’s dog, why was Sam walking them in the park?

TERRY:

Does it really matter? Why do you need to know?

DREW:   

So much for small talk…

ALINA:   

Can you at least tell us how Sam is doing?

TERRY:   

Work keeps him busy.

DREW:   

What does he do?

TERRY:

Work. 

JUN:   

Cool, cool, cool, cooooool, um. So are we like near where the Vetala is yet?

TERRY:

Just be quiet and walk.

JUN:   

Can I pet Cerberus?

TERRY:

For the love of— fine you know what, here’s the leash. Talk to Cerberus. Go for it.

SOUND: (Jun expresses his giddiness as he takes Cerberus’ leash.)

DREW:   

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to chat, you know.

TERRY:   

I’m not a fan of it. I’m used to silence. 

ALINA:   

Well, what about Sam?

TERRY:   

That’s different. He understands when I want to talk. 

ALINA:   

Sam definitely knew how to make people feel comfortable. 

TERRY:   

It’s why he’s so good with the creatures. 

DOG:   

I do believe we’re reaching our destination now.

ALINA:   

Oh! Where? 

DREW:

Hey guys. Um, is it just me, or is there a giant-looking bat person hanging upside down in that tree over there?

JUN:

I thought you guys said the creature was a mix between a zombie and a ghoul! You know vampires are my “top ten creatures not to look at” list, they scare me.

TERRY:

Ohhh yeah. Didn’t this creature inspire Dracula?

JUN:

W-HAT! 

DOG:

Oh, uh, that’s my fault. I completely forgot that they did that. But don’t worry, they don’t drink blood.

ALINA:

Let’s stop giving Jun any more heart attacks, please.

TERRY:

It’s fine. I have the talismans ready. When I give the signal, go talk to them.

ALINA:

We’re trusting you, Terry. 

TERRY:

And so am I… unfortunately. Now go. 

DREW:

Hmph, some signal…

JUN:

Um, soo, what should we say?

ALINA:

Uhhh Dog, do you wanna start? 

DOG:

Uhh, right! Ahem. Good evening Vetala!

ALINA:

Oh… Well, I could have done that…

VETALA:

Ah yes, so you have arrived.

JUN:

You knew we were coming?

VETALA:

The alien did tell you I can see past, present, and future.

DREW:

Ugh sounds like we’re gonna have a fun conversation.

ALINA:

Right… we’ll get right to it. I’m sure you already know why we’re here then.

VETALA:

The young highness over there is uh, little nervous about my return.

ALINA:

Yeah, if you could just let us know, we’d be happy to not disturb you any further.

VETALA:

Well, that’s not fun at all. I just got this new body, I’m looking and feeling really great. Um, let’s talk.

DREW:

Yeah about that, y-you’re gonna return that body afterward right?

ALINA:

Drew, be nice. Remember? That is a creature that causes madness.

DREW:   

I’m being nice!

DOG:

So, what would you like to talk about, Vetala?

VETALA:

You all clearly know how this works, so humor me with this and I’ll be out of your hair. Oh, and Dog, you can not answer. Okay, uh! No. Nooo. Now then, are you ready? I mean, I know you are but—

DREW:   

Sure, how hard could it be?

VETALA:

What’s the name of this park?

DREW:   

Honestly, I was hoping it was the Oedipus riddle again.

DOG:

(facepalms) The Vetala doesn’t ask riddles…

MUSIC: (“Chicken Wiggle” plays.)

VETALA:   

Dog, you’re overbearing. Step away. Come here. Let them discuss. Come here!

JUN:

No, stop! She’s a— she’s a part of the team!

ALINA:   

Yeah! That’s not fair, we need her!

VETALA:

She also knows the answer which, if you’re not me, is cheating.

DOG:   

It’s fine! You guys got this. You can figure it out!

DREW:

I-I don’t know, can we? This is literally a hidden park. Having a sign that says the name kinda defeats its purpose, you know. Like, we have absolutely nothing to go off of.

JUN:   

That’s not necessarily true! 

ALINA:   

What do you mean?

JUN:

Well, JD is the park ranger, right? And we’re in New Jersey. Maybe it’s simpler than we think and it’s some generic state park name.

DREW:

But parks like these, aren’t they all just based off of some rich donor?

ALINA:   

But who on earth would know about this park and then sponsor it?

DREW:   

Oh, oh, oh, oh oh! Sam’s family, maybe? Do you know his last name?

ALINA:

No… he was so secretive, remember? He barely gave me his number at the beginning.

JUN:

But that has to be it! I think that makes the most sense. His cousin’s a demigod, so that’s probably why he knows about the park in the first place and maybe he also just, you know, happens to be loaded?

ALINA:   

Okay when Jun says it like that, it makes me believe it less.

DREW:

I don’t know, isn’t he a loner who spends most of his time in the park? Sounds like a weird rich person to me. 

ALINA:

Ugh okay but that doesn’t solve the problem that we don’t know his last name. 

DREW:

Wait! (Looks at Dog and then whispers) Theoretically, your brother knows Sam as well right?

JUN:

Yes! Oh maybe. Do you think they’re friends on socials?

ALINA:   

Couldn’t hurt to check right? Maybe I can finally know more about him…

SOUND: (Jun opens his phone and scrolls.)

JUN:   

Dude, check out this photo here.

ALINA:   

Oh my god, that’s– that’s Sam!

DREW:   

Wait that’s Sam?! I know him. He’s been to the cafe before! 

ALINA:   

Hold up! You know Sam?

DREW:

I mean, I didn’t know he was the Sam! Alina, do you know how many Sam’s come to the cafe?

ALINA:   

So we could have just waited there this entire time?

DREW:

Yeah uh, yeah I guess. Sorry girl. Anyway, still weird to see Jun’s face so smiley next to Sam’s.

JUN:   

That’s the life of a twin, you just had to bring it up.

ALINA:

They do look really happy together here, don’t they?

JUN:

Oh look, he’s tagged. Sam Young. 

DREW:   

Young Park? That doesn’t sound right at all…

ALINA:   

Well, do we have any other ideas?

VETALA:   

Have you all come up with a consensus?

ALINA:   

All in favor for Young Park?

JUN/DREW:

(can’t think of anything else so they agree) Aye?

ALINA:   

The park’s name is… Young Park!

DOG:   

Nooooo. Where did Young even come from?

ALINA:   

We figured maybe it was Sam’s family name?

VETALA:

I mean, you’re not wrong. I mean, it does have to do with Sam’s family, but it’s Terry’s side. Mortals can’t really sponsor parks like these you know? Only gods can. Gods who are connected to nature…

DREW:   

Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Persephone Park!

DOG:

It’s Proserpina Park. The Roman name of Persephone. She didn’t want to come off too conceited, naming the park after herself and all.

ALINA:   

So we failed.

VETALA:   

Yeah, you failed. No, I’m just kidding. You’re fine, you’re fine.

ALINA:   

But we didn’t get the correct answer.

VETALA:   

Ugh… and you’ve forgotten the story. I knew you wouldn’t get it correct.

ALINA:

Oh… right. I forgot about that… It really seems weird to win something this way…

DOG:

I uh… Also forgot… 

VETALA:   

Uh, here’s another question. Do you know what’s in the woods?

ALINA:   

Hey, I thought you were going to tell us why you’re here now.

VETALA:   

Uh yeah, no I am. What’s in the woods?

ALINA:   

I don’t know? gnomes?

JUN:   

Could be more aliens.

VETALA:   

Dog, what’s your answer?

DOG:

Well, there are all sorts of creatures in the woods. Are you looking for something specific?

VETALA:   

You know. You’ve been looking for a strong companion.

DOG:   

What are you trying to— (Suddenly nervous) Does it know we’re here?

VETALA:   

Ding, ding, ding, you do know what’s in the woods.

JUN:   

Dog? What’s going on? 

VETALA:

Something you need to look into. I mean, I can’t have one of my favorite night spots be turned into chaos once again.

DOG:   

And you want us to deal with it?

VETALA:

I mean, yeah, what’s the problem? Do you think those three are the same as the ones that came before? Because, you know, every human being is different. That’s the beauty of them. Even identical twins. And uh, yeah, you can do it. 

Uh, but if not, if you don’t mind consenting, I mean, I’d love to have your body, I mean ugh that hair is gorgeous I love it, and then, those shoulders as well, ooh—

ALINA:

(Cuts off Vetala) Okayyy, you’ve given us a lot to think about. It was uh, great chatting with you, but… I hear Terry calling, uh, so we should go now. Come on, guys! We can’t keep Terry waiting.

Ugh, let’s never do that again. 

SOUND: (The gang walk back to Terry and Cerberus.)

TERRY:

Well? What did they say?

ALINA:   

They really wanted us to go to the woods. 

TERRY:

The woods? Why what’s there?

DREW:   

Something that Dog doesn’t want to meet apparently.

TERRY:

(Pauses to think) Don’t tell me it’s back…

DOG:   

Apparently, it is, Terry. It’s what the Vetala came to warn us about. 

ALINA:   

Can someone please tell us what exactly is in the woods— 

JUN:

Do you guys hear that?

SOUND: (Wings come flapping in, as a group of Aswang appear. Someone shouts “What’s going on?” or a “Whoa!” or “Oh my god, look!” The dogs all start barking as well.)

MUSIC: (“Resorting to Violence” plays.)

ASWANG:

Ahh, there you are, my lovely dinners. I’ve been looking for you for quite some time now. To think you’d be around this late at night. 

TERRY:   

Aswangs? What did you guys do?

JUN:

We didn’t do anything! She was the one that started it by stabbing me in the neck!

DOG:

Terry, now might be a good time for Cerberus to help?

TERRY:

What you just told me takes priority, I need to talk to my father. You guys have the Lion Dogs, you’ll be fine. 

DREW:   

What?! You’re just leaving us here? There’s kinda a group of vampires!

ALINA:   

Hey, what about your promise?

TERRY:

I’ll talk with Sam. If he wants to meet you, you’ll find him at the bench like usual. Tomorrow. 

ALINA:   

Wait, give him this memory stick for me, please. 

TERRY:

Ugh fine.

JUN:   

You guys, the Aswang?

DREW:   

You kno— you know what, you’re gonna pay for this the next time we meet.

TERRY:

Ha! We’ll see about that. Cerberus, let’s go!

SOUND: (Terry runs off with Cerberus.)

ASWANG:

Now that Hades’ brat is out of the picture, this will be easy pickings for us.

DOG:

Jun, get the balls, I think the Lion Dogs already know what to do, but just in case. 

JUN:   

Okay, got them!

ALINA:   

Drew, let’s spread out the salt as another barrier, I don’t want to risk anything. 

DREW:   

Don’t need to tell me twice. 

SOUND: (The Lion dogs are barking around and the sound of salt being dumped on the ground is heard.)

DOG:

Aswangs! I’m sure you’ve noticed we’re more than ready for you this time. There’s no point in fighting. 

ASWANG:

No point? You’re our dinner! We haven’t had such fresh local delicacies in such a long time!

JUN:   

Why can’t anything ever be settled peacefully?

ALINA:

Hey Dog, I know we’re feeling kinda confident right now, but is it just me or are there kinda a lot of aswangs?

DOG:

Just stay behind the salt, they can taunt us all they want, but sunrise is in a few hours. We just need to hold on until then.

SOUND: (One of the Lion Dogs yelps as the fight gets a little aggressive.)

JUN:

No! Oh no, Dio!

DREW:   

The Lion Dogs are taking a beating. What should we do? 

ALINA:   

Is waiting for the sun to rise really the only option?

DOG:

I’m thinking, I’m thinking! There must be something– 

JESSICA:

Oh, humans in the park? At this hour? What daredevils.

DOG:   

Jessica?!

ALINA:   

That’s Jessica?

DREW:   

Wait, she’s all alone out there, she needs to get over here now!

JESSICA:

Is that Dog’s voice I hear? Oh wow, that’s a lot of salt on the ground. Is a night creature present?

JUN:

Uhh, can she not see us? 

ALINA:   

She must be able to, she’s coming our way.

DOG:   

Jessica! Over here! It’s me, Dog!

ASWANG:   

Ugh, if we can’t capture the ones behind the salt, we can at least get the girl!

JESSICA:

I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’m feeling nice since there are so many people here today. But bother us again and there will be problems, understood?

ASWANG:   

You’re the girl that’s been snooping, aren’t you— 

SOUND: (Before the Aswang can finish, they get blown away by a fire that burst them away.)

JESSICA:   

Night creatures are just the worst, aren’t they? Now, who are you?

OUTRO: (We return to Mirai. “Park in Twlight” plays as the sound of the bus comes back in.) 

KITSUNE:    Oh ho, it seems like the plot thickens doesn’t it?

MIRAI:   

Why did you stop the file? It was just getting good!

KITSUNE:   

Um, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we’re here. This is the last stop.

MIRAI:   

What? Oh I need to get all my stuff… 

KITSUNE:   

Little mouse, have you decided?

MIRAI:   

On what?

KITSUNE:   

About the park of course. Are you… ready to believe?